Wednesday, June 07, 2017

What is Failure To Me?

Dear Readers,
 
It's the 'F' word everyone seems to avoid talking about. To many, it is the thing we fear the most as growing individuals. Perhaps that's why it is such a taboo topic to discuss. But I am here to banish the trepidation when it comes to talking openly about failure.


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Failure is a horrible emotion to feel. No matter how much we try to deny its impact on our life, it somehow always leaves us feeling deflated and low. To know that despite our best efforts and time spent on enhancing our chances of success, we just don't come out on top.

There have been many occasions when I have experienced failure in my life. I think my previous self-conscious thought process would not allow myself to open up and admit those moments to you. But who am I kidding here, I could never be perfect.

But that's ok, I don't want to be perfect. I now see the failures in my life, be them big or small, as clear moments where journeys needed to change and new paths were about to align.
 
Embrace your failures like you would your successes
Failure to me, is now an opportunity to assess what is working well and what isn't. It's a great time to press pause on life and reflect on how we go about our routine. This acceptance spans across both my professional and personal life, so it is something that I am dealing with periodically.

It is important as well to not take life too seriously. I understand that the whole relaxed attitude can be easier said than done, but it is important to see the failure you are experiencing in your life from a wider perspective. Take the time to withdraw all emotion from the thing(s) that didn't go to plan.
 

Assess your angles
There is never an assigned route that all people must take to live a happy and successful life. Research and find new ways of overcoming your failure. Did you fail your driving test? Take time to watch videos of other driving instructors and make notes. Perhaps you are not being practical enough in your learning and so you should look to getting in that car and just driving. Make it happen.


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Perhaps you're stuck in a friendship which is unsalvageable. It's ok to admit defeat, not because you are a failure of a friend, but because you have outgrown each other. This might be your time to transition away from these people and find new friends. Make it part of your day to speak to at least 3 new people and have a proper conversation with them. Get to know them and actively seek a solution. 

It is easy to wallow in self-pity but that will be doing you no favours whatsoever. You must keep moving forward.

Failure to you, maybe a huge success to another
Also, it is important to point out that sometimes failure isn't a clear cut fail. It might be something you weren't quite hoping for. I do believe that it is vital to aim high and work your hardest to smash those targets. But you should also be aware that just because it wasn't exactly what you'd hoped for, it doesn't make it an evident loss on your part. Be proud of what you have achieved and evaluate how you could improve for similar future situations.

Be Grateful
I never used to appreciate what was going well for me in the present moment, as I was so focused on what I wanted in the future. Now I take the time every day to say thank you for something.

Although it is good to think ahead and plan your next lot of goals, take the time to actively express gratitude. Write it down in a private notepad, tell that special someone how much you appreciate all they bring to your life and be sure to tell the universe that you are happy and grateful for everything that is currently in your life, whether they are lessons to be learnt or successes to be celebrated. Once you start appreciating what is working out well for you, you will be naturally attracting more positivity and prosperity back into your life.

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I really hope I can help those of you who overthink failure, so you can make it a constructive experience, instead of a negative one.

Stay Sweet & Stay Grateful,

Alice xx
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